Sometimes I wonder if its worth
the mask I wear to hide the hurt.
The outer shell I show to all
but they don't see when I trip and fall.
But the inner me few people know
I push it deep and never show
the scared little boy I am within
when all alone, I fight to win
the constant battle going on
between what is right and what is wrong.
And out of sight but always there
is the sense of fear that fills the air;
Still scared of the dark after all these years,
Still scared to let go of my tears,
Scared to drop my hardened shell
that I've worn so long and kept so well.
Scared to let somebody in
afraid to let them close again.
Scared right to the very bone
of living all my life alone.
Scared to let somebody see
the scars I have all over me
from ones with whom I've shared my heart
and been betrayed and ripped apart.
Then the walls shoot up again
and I push down deep the hurt within.
But every time my heart gets tore
the walls are stronger than before.
Until I'm scared to even let
someone close to me, and yet
I long for someone to reach through my shell
to the little boy within myself.
Someone who will hold me near
to whom I can tell all my fears
of never being good enough
of never being strong and tough
of never having any friends
of scars, I fear, that never mend
of always being second best
of failing all of life's little tests.
And sometimes just to sit and stare
into my soul and truly care
about the peron I long to be
and the Little Boy inside of me...