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August 31, 2001
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Sitting at my desk with
pen and paper in hand.
A stack of poems sit by
the corner. Each one
finished. Each a piece of me.

Dip the pen of my soul into
my heart's blood and begin to write
one last time before sleep.
Exhausted....stumbling.....
blind......deaf.....
words pour out from me
like from some Pandora's box.
I am unable to stop them,
unable to slow them....
Faster, faster I write but
it is not fast enough.

There! One more finished
but three more have painted
themselves on the canvas of my mind
and refuse to be silent.
Screaming to be expressed,
demanding to be portrayed
agonizing voices I must give life.
More paper...more blood...less me.
Writing faster now.
My pen speeds slong the paper
so fast it bursts into flames.

Put out the fire with my tears
and run to the keyboard.
Booting up....FASTER!!!
Come on, come on....
Too many poems, too many voices
must express them but which one,
all at once? None at all?
Typing with a sound like a
train rolling by. The keys
fly beneath my fingertips.
Spelling errors appear....
it doesnt matter. Fix them later...
must express, must see, must....feel
It has been so long.....

Write, write, type, type
until I begin to cry and
embrace the nothingness I have become.
What am I without my work?
Am I still a poet? Still one of
the chosen few people envy for
their words on page? If they only knew...
Then they would not want this gift...
beautiful words cost you pieces of your soul.
Letting strangers see the real you,
unsure of their intents, yet needing them.
I hurl my pen across the room....
burn the poems to ash
but the ashes still move, still speaks.
And I cry, for I have nothing left to do..
yet so much at the same time...
Exhaustion?? Far too simple a word
to describe how I feel.
But it will
have
to
do......zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
....no more feeling...no more tears....only exhaustion at having expressed so much of myself that I have nothing left for me. Feel like I am falling (down or up? does it matter?)...hope I land on a bed. I am just so very tired.....
This is my 8th poem today (I will upload it in the morning)....heh...the Midas touch comes to mind. Everything turns to gold...but at what cost?

Comments....
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:iconcrazymanbc:
crazymanbc Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2001

VERY VERY VERY SO MUCH LIKE ME. Ilove it. Sounds like what I do often? It didn't seem Cocky to me, that part you was talking about, not wanting the gift. I just got over writers block and the past week all I can do it write down the first thing that comes to my mind, the error thing was cool, I always wait until later to fix my errors, that is if I ever do. hehehehehehe.......I have been going into Mad Rages and write a poem in a flat over eating two min: or less. It is blood pumping juicy that I feel I still have it in me................GREAT POEM....
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:iconjsenn:
jsenn Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2001
After awhile they stack up on your hard drive. The strange thing is some are not to be posted here, could be burned in the corner for being too.... too whatever. The folders stack containing the stacked files, "to be finished" "posted" "not" "journal poetry". All have purpose, all have stacks and sometimes there is not time to post one before another has begun. Stacks of pages....pieces of our lives, they really could be burned but for that very reason.
(`.,,.
j♥y
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:iconbtrsweet:
btrsweet Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2001
wow. very real.. it's unfortunate i never get to experience that kind of exhaustion - i never CAN write more than 1 poem at a time! :D (Big Grin)

again - great job.. :) (Smile)

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:iconxshock:
xshock Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2001
thats amazing. i never thought of it that way. but then again, ive written 2 (real) poems in my entire life...
i like your description of desperately needing but not being able to express all your feelings in words. when i write stuff i go really slowly, thinking it out as i write. great poem about writing poems :) (Smile)

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:iconsanguru:
sanguru Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2001  Hobbyist Writer
8 poems today. Don't overdo it Wes, I could do that if I wanted to, but I know that my mind and soul shouldn't write that much so I write about 2 a day continueally. This is a wonderful poem. Just beautiful in ever aspect. Keep up the good work Wes.

---------
question silence.
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:iconmatrix7:
matrix7 Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2001  Hobbyist General Artist
I can always count on you guys to give me honest reviews of my work. Thanks for the help, I appreciate it mooey mooey much!

I didnt really realize that the part about people not wanting this gift sounded kinda cocky. Did it come across that way to you guys? Let me know your interpretation of this as I would really like to know

*crosses fingers (and eyes) and waits *with baited breath*" (Not sure exactly what that means but I heard it in a movie once 8) (Cool)

Peace
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:icon----josh----:
----josh---- Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2001
Oh, I envy you. When youre hot youre hot, and theres no use trying to hold it back. Ya just gotta hang on and go for the ride. And afterwards it is oh so much more than exhaustion, it is ....

ah nuts, I cant find the words either...

I want that flow, very nicely written, now go have a rest..

:-) (Smile)

Psalm 139:13

For you created my inmost being. You knit me together in my mothers womb.
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:iconfaithwalker:
faithwalker Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2001  Student Photographer
THIS is one of the best poems I have read!! Excellent!

Faithwalker

Grow

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