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A sea of faces surrounds me
stretching to some unseen horizon
in every direction imaginable.
Each gazing, taunting
staring at me (or through me).
I feel very transparent.
Secrets lay flayed open
by an unseen assassin's knife.
Goals on display behind cases
of glass forged from crystal tears.
Dreams paraded around for all
to see. No secrecy, no privacy.
Put myself between the crowds
and my transparent soul.
Begging, pleading to leave me be
but nobody hears my pleas
(or they don't care).
After poking and prodding all my
most secret ponderings
the crowd has had their fun and move on
laughing until there is no air left.
And I have cried until the oceans ran dry
for I have used up all the tears.
Fall to my knees and caress
the shattered pieces of
my broken aspirations.
I put them in a pouch and tie
the cord tightly around my heart.
Never to be opened, but always hidden.
Go ahead and mock me.
Tell me how you despise my goals.
Deny my dreams.
Block my passions.
I will not be restrained,
Paths lay arranged before
like shattered shards of
some cosmic mirror.
Each reflecting a broken future
that is not now, will not be,
but might have been once.
Just as sharp as broken glass
a crimson trickle starts where
I pricked my hand on my future/past/present.
Bleeding turns to healing
healing turns to indifference
indifference turns to forgetting.
Always remembering the good things,
but never the solutions nor the snares.
So I fall.
Again, and again and again.
Same stupid mistakes over and over
devouring, then mocking.
I know the danger.
I know the fear.
I know that twisted face.
Why don't I listen to myself?
Because of the falling sickness
and there is no cure...
so I fall.
What Friends are For
Lend a shoulder for your tears,
hold your hand when things get tight.
Help to calm your raging fears
guard your back while in a fight.
Listen when you need an ear
Helping you in looking forward
warning you when trouble's near.
Isn't that What Friends are For?
Seasons of the Soul
Summer, Autumn, Winter Spring
Seasons of the inner soul.
Each one has a gift to bring,
each one has a seperate goal.
Summer with it's burning heat.
Like eyes of fire, full of rage.
Burning flesh and scorching meat
Flames that never will assuage.
Autumn with the falling leaves
vibrant colors fill the air.
Happy, glad and so carefree.
Without a thought, without a care.
Winter with it's snow and clouds
cold and with an icy heart.
Wearing anger like a shroud
Careless of who you rip apart.
Spring with its rainy mood
new life everywhere you go.
To think, to wonder, and to brood
upon the Seasons of the Soul.
Corridors of the Mind
Walking through the spaceous halls
always changing beneath my feet.
Bending to my moods and whims
dancing to some unseen beat.
Marble floors and stony walls
brooding, thinking of my life.
Hear the silent echo's call
as thoughts go speeding fast as light.
Warp and change, change and move
different now, yet still unchanged.
Amazing as I change my moods
the space does change, but I remain.
Here, then there, then gone again
Hearing echoes of the past
I turn to find myself alone
voiceless questions never asked.
Ghosts of futures long forgot
surround my esssence as I see
memories, more oft than not
staring at a transparent me.
Some old friends, some from books
others I wish that I could find
as I explore the turns and nooks
in the Corridors of the Mind.
Shades of You
Vibrant colors fill my mind,
each one carries a piece of you.
I watch them mix and swirl and wind
always changing, always new.
White for beauty, pure and sweet
like freshly fallen flakes of snow.
Blue for sadness, dark and bleek
bitter tears of pain and woe.
Red for anger, hurt and pain
sides of you I rarely see.
Green for jealous tears that stain.
In you these have no place for me.
Black depression's muck and mire
crying as I hold you near.
Yellow passion burns like fire
whispers gently in your ear.
All the colors of the rainbow
Always changing, always new.
I smile as I realize
that each one is a Shade of You.
Huddled in a corner of
my mind I scribe my thoughts.
Poems full of truth and love,
feelings recent, yet forgot.
Trying not to feel the pain
words a jumble in my head.
Fighting thoughts of past mistakes
wishing sometimes I were dead.
I hear sound of pounding nails
as tears begin to freely flow.
Looking for the source and fail
as pain creates a crimson glow.
Searching, searching for the sound
rythmic, haunting, calling me.
The hammer strikes and shakes the ground
and from my hands begin to bleed.
Tears become a raging stream
sweeping hope and dreams away.
Is it real or just a dream?
The pain reminds me every day.
Hear the clashing, closer now
and I begin to understand.
As tears turn into rusty nails
I see the hammer in my hand.
Sail Upon the Wind
Dreams can take you anywhere
the only limits are your own.
Searching where no others dare
sailing far awau from home.
On crystal seas of mirrored glass
or mountains made of purest jade.
Sailing on as you go past
trees of emerald giving shade.
Grand adventures in your head
seek you out and draw you in.
All this while you sleep in bed
until you're waking up again.
Back into the heartless world
where dreams and goals get sadly shelved.
Until the night with sails unfurled
and deeper in the dream we delve.
All day long we think on visions
brought up from night before.
Days so full of indecision
needing just a moment more...
But nights are ours and every time
we must begin again.
To taste the breeze, to feel the sea
and Sail Upon The Wind.
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